For the last three years, 16-year-old Ajayi Anthony has attended the University of the Virgin Islands’ annual "Man Up Conference" and he said he looked forward to hearing some inspirational words from speakers featured on the program.
This time around, however, the event held at UVI’s Sports and Fitness Center was especially poignant for Anthony, who was asked to deliver his own inspirational address to an audience packed with his Charlotte Amalie High School classmates and other young men attending from schools across the district.
"We need for the men to take heed and take charge, assuming their rightful place in our home and our community," Anthony said at the podium. "Our women do a tremendous job raising us from boys to men but they can’t do it alone."
Anthony’s words were met with applause from many in the crowd, who he also encouraged to "take the messages imparted to us here today" to those not in attendance or to their friends "on the corners, on the basketball courts or in the courthouse."
He also encouraged his peers to "stand up" and discover their own gifts and talents, which would propel them past high school and throughout their lives.
"I believe these messages should really be delivered at home first," Anthony said after the conference. He noted positive experiences with his own father, who Anthony said plays an active role in both his academic and social life.
"I remember one time another student at lunch time asking my sister for some food. and she asked him, ‘Doesn’t your father pack you lunch?’" Anthony said. "And the student said that not all families have someone who is going to do that for them, and I always felt grateful not to ever have experienced that. I really want my friends and all the men here to feel that way too."
Anthony’s sentiments were echoed throughout the day by a number of other speakers, including world renowned neurosurgeon Benjamin Carson Sr., who said Monday that his experiences growing up in a single-parent household, with an absent father, helped to shape his destiny. Carson is currently the director of pediatric neurosurgery at Johns Hopkins Hospital, and was, among other things, awarded the presidential medal of freedom by President George W. Bush in 2008.
Carson said that his mother was the driving force in his life, which unfolded on the streets of Detroit. As his mother continued to work multiple jobs to provide for her children, Carson and his brother held their own at home but struggled in school. Carson said he was the butt of the students’ jokes at school, which fueled his anger and kept him from really succeeding. Eventually, however, he began to learn a number of lessons that put him on a more productive path, he said.
Carson told the crowd Monday that reading as much as possible, working to overcome his demons and letting go of his anger by caring more about others helped him early in his educational career. Faith and God, however, were also driving forces, Carson said, adding that he spent many days just praying and learning how to interpret the answers that came.
"Your brain is capable of doing so much more than you ever ask it to do," Carson said. "But a lot of young men, especially young black men, don’t achieve the level of education they could have because they want to be the next Michael Jordan, the next Puff Daddy. And when they realize that it’s not going to happen, it’s too late because they didn’t put that time into academics that they should have."
And yearning for something better, he said they turn to gangs, which only leads to more trouble.
"One day you see that person on television, shielding their faces from the camera, and you think, ‘Oh wow, wasn’t that little Johnny? He was such a sweet kid. Life is full of ‘Little Johnnies.’"
Making it through high school and onto college, Carson said, he was set back slightly by a counselor that told him he could never be a doctor because he didn’t score well on his first set of exams. Carson said he was "devastated," but went back to his apartment and prayed.
He said he discovered that while he was "really good" in classes that involved a lot of reading, he struggled in those courses that were based around long lectures by a professor.
"We all learn in different ways, and one of the most important things you can do is figure out your strengths and weaknesses, then manipulate your learning schedule to take advantage of what works for you," Carson said.
Answering questions from the audience later, Carson added that it is also for important for students pursuing specific majors, such as medicine, to find out what’s required of them early on and "to pursue those requirements quickly because time goes by in a flash."
Speaking to the crowd before Carson’s speech, UVI President David Hall also told students that they were an "ocean of unlimited possibilities," and were asked to participate in Monday’s conference so that they could take another step toward achieving their full potential.
"Bringing Dr. Carson here today is also part of that process," Hall said. "He has faced obstacles too, struggled in school, and it would have been easy for him to settle for a life on the streets. He has tasted the bitter pills of loss and disappointment but rose to be the best in his field.”
Hall said Carson operates on 300 children a year, has saved many kids’ lives, “and today we brought him here to save the lives of some of you."
Carson fielded a number of questions after his speech – many of which were about his father, who left when Carson was still young and his parents got divorced. Standing up holding the microphone, students asked if not having a father hurt Carson in the long or if he ultimately forgave him for his mistakes.
"I did feel resentful for a long time," Carson said. "But as I grew and matured, I realized that things happened for a reason. The reason my parents got divorced is because my mom discovered my dad had another family and he was prone to drinking and drugs – all these things would have had a bad influence on me. Instead, I was able to succeed and be there for my kids."
Also speaking at this year’s conference was award-winning filmmaker M.K. Asante and V.I. Mothers Against Guns founder Celia Carroll. The "Man Up Conference" is sponsored in conjunction with the Department of Education and Department of Human Services. It will continue Tuesday at UVI’s Albert A. Sheen Campus on St. Croix.
