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Charlotte Amalie
Thursday, July 18, 2024
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Coach Paradise: It's Not Too Late to See In New Year In Your Own Style

Dear Coach Paradise,
I’m writing to you at the last minute but I really want to make this New Year’s Eve different and I’m not sure that I can pull it off. I‘m single and dateless and am on the brink of sinking into pity and self- loathing and eating a quart of ice cream and hating myself the morning after. Any suggestions you have would be greatly appreciated.
New Year’s loser chick
Dear New Year ‘s chick,
Who’s calling whom a loser? Don’t get identified with being a loser and playing victim. It’s always a lose-lose situation and no fun anyway. We are bombarded with the notion that our self worth is tied up with how we spend the holidays and especially New Year’s Eve.
I’d suggest that you have options – probably more than you think. Write them down. I’ll get you going:
– 1: Get together with friends and create a New Year’s ritual, sing, dance etc.
– 2: Go to the party at Yacht Haven – with or without a friend – dance the night away.
– 3: Stay home and call friends and family and celebrate by connecting with loved ones even if they are far away.
– 4: Have your own little party
– 5: Create your own ritual – visioning the New Year, walking on the beach, burning the old and clearing the way for the new.
If you continue to hold onto the belief that you can only have fun on New Year’s Eve if you have a date and a party to go to, you will continue to suffer unless those conditions are met. As Byron Katie would ask: “Who would you be without that belief?" (That you have to have a date on NE to have fun.) I hope that your answer would arrive at – "just fine, up for a good time and open to a variety of ways to create New Year’s Eve in a way that feels good.“ No longer victim to someone else’s limited option plan – you get to enjoy the bigger picture and use the raw material of the amazing way reality has presented and lined itself up in your favor. Imagine that?
I’d love to hear how things go. It’s not easy to remodel reality but the rewards are over the top. And all it takes is changing your perspective and focusing on all the ways that you could keep yourself feeling joyful and being the powerful creator you already are.
Remember, “Everything’s Fine in 2009.”
To your happiest New Year ever,
Coach Paradise
Editor's note: Coach Paradise (AKA Anne Nayer), Professional Life Coach, is a member of the International Coaching Federation, an MSW clinical social worker-psychotherapist and a medical case manager with 30 years experience working with people of all shapes, sizes and challenges. For further information about her services, call 774-4355, visit her website or email her.

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