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Charlotte Amalie
Thursday, March 28, 2024
HomeNewsArchivesCoach Paradise: Out With the Clutter, In With the Real You

Coach Paradise: Out With the Clutter, In With the Real You

Dear Coach Paradise,
I am at my wit's end. My house is a mess. My office is a mess. My kids don’t clean up after themselves and neither does my husband. All of my clothes are wrinkled or buried, and I feel as though I am living in a pigsty. It’s a miracle that I manage to show up at work looking presentable.
I have tried a number of systems — a cleanup day each week, yelling at the kids and my husband and using a housekeeper. Nothing works for more than a day or two, and my mind feels as messy as my house. I couldn’t find an important document at work yesterday and was already late because I had misplaced my car keys. Not good. Is this a sickness and is there a cure? I’ll do anything!
Signed,
Buried in stuff
Dear Buried,
Sounds like you have hit bottom! This is a good thing because now you are truly ready to begin the crawl out from under. It’s also good that you are taking responsibility (i.e., it isn’t all the kids' or the husband’s fault). If you had something to do with making the mess, you can do something about cleaning it up, as well as getting your family sold on the benefits of an uncluttered life.
Cluttering habits are stressful and deplete our energies and sabotage our best efforts at home and at work.
We live in a society that primes us to be consumers, and we oblige. There has been a rapid growth of storage facilities — not only as transitional places to put our things while we make a move — but as permanent repositories of our "extra" stuff.
And our homes are getting bigger, not smaller! I would guess that you have a lot of things that you no longer use, wear, want or even remember that you possess. Cutting your holdings is a first step.
Whether you decide to be ruthless or do it gradually, there is no way around reducing the sheer volume to create some space. One method is to get large cardboard boxes and label them: garbage, charity giveaways, "maybes" and to store (for things that you can’t part with but use infrequently).
I heard a good idea for closets: hang everything with the hangers facing in the same direction. Every time you wear something, put it back (yes put it back) with the hanger facing in the opposite direction. Whatever hangers are still facing the original way in 6 months — OUT.
An interesting fact: We wear 20 percent of our clothing 80 percent of the time.
There are books, professional organizers, friends who are good at this, and I would suggest that you get all the help you can because it is not only about creating space but cultivating new habits and behaviors (for example, everything has its place and lives there; buy something, get rid of something; attractive bins and containers for toys, magazines etc.)
These new habits and behaviors create inner changes. It's really about discovering who you are underneath the piles and deciding how you want to show up. Who is the real you — wrinkled or smoothly flowing?
De-cluttering frees energy and creates breathing space. More space means more time, more money, more possibilities — change is usually across the board. Focus on one area of your life, and the effect is universal.
Picture your home and office the way you really want it to be and then sit back and revel in how that feels. Keep the picture where you can see it as you embark on what could be the adventure of the spring cleaning. This could actually be fun. Maybe Peter Pan will show up this year!
To your new lighter more spacious self,
Coach Paradise
Editor's note: Coach Paradise (AKA Anne Nayer), Professional Life Coach, is a member of the International Coaching Federation, an MSW clinical social worker-psychotherapist and a medical case manager with 30 years experience working with people of all shapes, sizes and challenges.
For further information about her services, call 774-4355 or email her.

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