Dear Coach Paradise,
Well, here I am on New Year’s Eve thinking about writing my New Year’s Resolutions once again. I say once again because they are basically the same as the one’s I wrote last year. I’ve gotta lose 20 lbs and start exercising. My Dr. is on my case and I can’t afford a new wardrobe. I’d love to get that credit card balance paid off and start following Suze Orman’s advice so I don’t end up eating cat food and living on a park bench. And there’s more too but I just feel so cynical about writing out these promises. I can just see myself breaking them and then beating myself up and on and end in an endless, discouraging loop. What am I doing wrong? I know that there are people who do manage to accomplish what they set out to do. What’s the secret?
Signed,
Discouraged at the Starting Line
Dear Discouraged,
Join the club. Do you realize that your "resolutions" are all among the top ten most common New Year’s resolutions? … and that approximately one third of us resolution makers will have jumped ship by early Feb. with many more following over the next six months. So, its not you. It’s something about the way this whole resolution thing is set up. How could you be expected to succeed when you are already picturing the demise of your good intentions?
Consider this: Whatever you focus on expands. If you focus on failing, being overweight, in debt, and moving inexorably toward old age and a park bench — is it any wonder that you are just crossing out the year on your sheet of New Year’s resolutions and changing the date? How about focusing on what you want?
Here’s my proposal. First, I‘d like you to look back over 2007 and instead of bemoaning all that you did not accomplish, take the following inventory:
–What were my wins, breakthroughs, successes, joys and accomplishments? (Count the little stuff as well as the big stuff)
–What have I learned about myself and my life? What insights have I gained?
–What am I grateful for and what do I appreciate? (The shortest route to attracting what you want in life is to find things to appreciate.)
–What am I ready to let go of? We all have disappointments and negative feelings. Its time to let these go so you can focus on New Beginnnings.
Celebrate: Come up with a meaningful, enjoyable, special way to celebrate all that 2007 has been about for you.
After you have acknowledged 2007 and yourself, I’d like you to close your eyes and transport yourself to December 2008. See yourself celebrating. You have successfully achieved your goals and dreams. Feel how excited you are about having lost 20 lbs. and found a way to exercise that has not only made you healthier and more attractive but that you love. Enjoy the the increased energy and how great you feel. Congratulate yourself on having paid off your debts and started saving while welcoming new sources of income into your life. You are so excited about what you have set in motion and are looking forward to the next year. You know that you don’t have to make resolutions anymore. You realize that the way to creating the changes you want is to imagine them and know that they are there waiting for you.
Start with the end in mind. See it, feel it, taste it. Write it down. Collage it. Write a song. And you might want to get a coach as an individual or with a group of friends. A coach can help you to keep the end in mind, stay on track and come up with strategies that will keep your energy positive and allow you to enjoy the fruits of your dreams — all in an easy and relaxed manner, in a healthy and positive way.
May 2008 exceed your expectations and surprise you in wonderful ways!
Here’s to you in 2008,
Coach Paradise
Editor's note: Coach Paradise (AKA Anne Nayer), Professional Life Coach, is a member of the International Coaching Federation, an MSW clinical social worker-psychotherapist and a medical case manager with 30 years experience working with people of all shapes, sizes and challenges. For further information about her services, call 774-4355, visit her website or email her.
