Dear Coach Paradise,
I just called my personal trainer to get back in the swing of exercise after a month vacation and then some. I am a real estate loan officer who has bought and fixed up several properties, turning them from eyesores to fabulous. I seem to have this gift where I can see the end result. When I took my husband to see the last place I found, he didn't even want to get out of the car. Luckily he trusts my vision and it is now rented and more than paying for itself.
The reason I am writing is that I don't seem to be able to lose the 40 or so pounds I have put on over the past 10 years. I lose some, gain it back and basically stay the same. I have a loving husband, a great son and a thriving business, but I am heavier than I want to be. It seems like such a losing battle, but I dream of floating down the street, shopping for the size I used to wear and liking how I look and feel. Is this too much to ask? Can you help me, please?
Signed, Longing for Light
Dear Light,
Congrats for getting back in the swing of exercise and for writing to me. Reading your letter just tickles me pink, because I see that you have all the answers to your question but are blind and cannot see. What would it be like if losing weight were as easy and inspired and fun as taking a run-down property and turning it into a charming abode? If you can see what is involved in creating your success at turning fixer-uppers around, you can begin to apply those strategies and success secrets to your own fixin' up.
As with the eyesores, you start with the result in mind. You are visionary and can see how this will look when it's done, so …. you can see how you will look and feel when you are "done." Do not underestimate the important of starting with the end in mind — in as much detail as you can and not just in mind but also in feeling. You are there now and feeling yourself in your renovated state now — present tense: "I am walking down the street, strutting my stuff in a Size ?, feeling light, energetic and loving my image as I walk past windows that reflect me in all my glory. I smile and wave back."
Next, examine your belief system — specifically trolling for limiting beliefs: "I have a heavy build, my metabolism must be slowing down, I can't even look at a cookie," etc.
Realize that your beliefs create your reality. There are plenty of thin, fit people who eat Oreos and enjoy a glass of wine with their gruyere! And plenty of overweight people who constantly deprive themselves and get nowhere. What if you believed that you could enjoy life, enjoy food and release the poundage that is weighing you down? What if this could be easy and fun and an adventure? What if you could find something to do that would contribute to your well being and bring you joy (running marathons, playing tennis, fixing up old houses)?
I know you are nodding yes, yes and yes. I know you know that making good food choices is loving yourself (I didn't say melba toast and cottage cheese), and that you feel good when you are moving and active and using your body to its fullest (yoga, working out, sex). I invite you to consider that making this fun might be the shift that makes all the difference. Lighten up (ha, ha no pun intended) in all areas. Get a coach. Join a coaching group to help you deliberately create the body of your dreams in a fun and inspired way.
To the lite version of you — with joy,
Coach Paradise
Editor's note: Coach Paradise (AKA Anne Nayer), Professional Life Coach, is a member of the International Coaching Federation, an MSW clinical social worker-psychotherapist and a medical case manager with 30 years experience working with people of all shapes, sizes and challenges.
For further information about her services, call 774-4355 or email her.
